What I Know

Emptiness. I can never say that I have ever looked at someone and seen a completely empty life, that is, until this year. Two weeks ago, I started my second year of my high school career. I already knew God had a powerful plan for my life and one that would not only bring joy from encouraging others, but deep growth in knowing just how much my Savior, Jesus Christ, means to me. These past two months or so have been the most challenging months I have ever experienced. They have been filled with many lessons that come with hard trials. However, I have never seen God working so consistently than He is right now. You see the only thing I want, the only thing I need is to hold on to the promises my God gives me. Everything else is pointless. Everything else is empty. I asked Jesus to live in my heart when I was ten years old and ever since then I have been pursing a closer relationship with Him. Sadly, I have witnessed a strong and heartbreaking truth these last few weeks. A truth I have known all my life, but have never seen it as vividly taking place in someone else's life. My eyes have been opened to people who are without God and everything about them is empty. There is no depth to their emotions-no purpose for getting up in the morning other than to scrape a red sharpie over a small box on a calendar. They have nothing to live for and it has truly broken my heart. I pray for them- I pray that God may use me as a light to show them what love is and that God does have a purpose for them everyday and to live without Him is like living in a horror film. Because without God leading me everyday, I too would be completely empty. But in Christ I am not who I could be, but who I was created to be. I hope you see the depths of all these truths and catch a glimpse of just how much YOU mean to God.

As I said earlier, these past few months have been incredibly difficult to persevere through. And it is hard to sit in a class and hear someone teach philosophies and theories that don't line up with the Bible, but at the same time, I know I was placed in that class for a reason. God is preparing me and using me when I least expect it. And I want those people to know who is the One who holds this world in His hands. These are just some thoughts that have been on my heart the last couple of days that I wanted to share with you and I encourage you to read some of my other posts.



I don't have all of it figured out, but what I know is You, my God, are real.












Dear Lord, give me a kind and  joyful heart so I can share you word and love with those around me. Give me boldness to speak your truth and strength when it's hard too. Thank you for all the trials that have made me stronger. Please, continue to guide my heart with everything on my mind right now. I love you.
                                              Your Daughter

Look to Him

You're struggling. You feel like you couldn't possibly be more overwhelmed than you are right now. You are a son or daughter of the one true King. Yet, Satan, your enemy, is attacking you at every angle possible. He throws lies at you about your faith and whispers thoughts into your mind such as, "Why are you even doing this?" "Isn't it time you drop this whole faith thing and just give up?" But let me tell you something. Don't ever give up. In those moments, where you feel like the breath has been knocked out of you, or you feel like he has just kicked you right in the stomach. You put on the belt of truth, (Ephesians 6) and you say, " I am a child of God and you can't lay a hand on me. My heavenly Father has defeated you over death and He will defeat you now in this very moment. After feeling that strong truth in your heart and mind, turn around and run and leap into God's arms. He will then comfort you. But the devil wants to keep you wrapped up in the chaos. He is the father of lies and wants to hide you from the truth. During the chaos, he wants to keep you as far away from God as possible; he wants you to believe that there isn't a way out. One of the lies he has thrown at me this week is the idea, "Stop, don't pick up your bible. It will just leave you more overwhelmed." No! God's word brings peace and guidance. I reached the point today that I picked up all the things that God uses to speak to me, His word, my commentary, a devotional book by Charles Stanley, and my Sunday School study guide. I went into a room where I knew I wouldn't be bothered and left my phone on the other side of the house. (I know... it is crazy hearing that someone actually left their phone for more than five minutes, but friends, your time with God is more important than Twitter or Instagram.) So, like I was saying I found a place where I would have absolutely no distraction and had some father/daughter time with my Savior. And that is the best decision you can make today- to just take however long you need to in order for God to speak to you. I promise if you do you will find comfort. He will give you strength to get through whatever you are facing. We live in a evil, fallen world that throws all sorts of things to get us off the path of walking wisely with our Savior, but God will guide you in this life and you will find rest and joy in Him.   It is possible for you to live a victorious life filled with pure happiness, but you can only do that by looking to Him. A verse that I came over today that really gave me some truth and guidance was found in 1 Corinthians 13:7. Chapter 13 talks about true love. Verse 6 &7 reads, Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. After reading that, I broke the words down in a way that I could see the idea better.

1. God's love will always protect you. Whatever battle or trial you are going through in your spiritual walk with God, he will protect you.
2. God's love gives you truth. All the lies that Satan is throwing at you can be destroyed if we look to God. He will breathe truth into your heart and give you peace.
3. Once we hear God's truth, we find hope in the fact that we aren't facing the storms of life alone because God loves us always.
4. And then, once we know we are protected, have God's truth in our hearts, and see the hope that He gives us, we find the strength to persevere in order to overcome what we are going through.

 Perhaps you feel extremely lost and overwhelmed and don't know of the love I speak of, but you want to know God and find that love. So that, you don't have to live in this world alone any more. Maybe you want to make the decision right now to ask Jesus into your heart and be free from the hurt of this world. If so, I want to direct you in the plan and purpose God has for your life that starts with receiving His free gift of salvation. http://intouch.org/god

Someone Much Greater

School closes and summer begins. We all anticipate making beautiful memories filled with phenomenal moments. The last week of school you dream about what will come out of those three months and how much fun you will have with all of your new friends. At least, that is what my thought process has been. You see, before my freshmen year, I spent my last three years in the back room of my mom's children store only thinking about school and, well, quite honestly I have kind of forgotten that part of me. It was only a year ago, but everything changed so quickly-everything shifted, but one thing stayed true- my purpose. I still had my eyes focused on my Savior, Jesus Christ. I knew God had something planned from the beginning of freshmen year. It was hard- coming back to public school and starting high school. And I know my personality didn't exactly reflect what I truly intended, but I always tried to keep in mind why I was where I was.
So many things are swirling in my head, Lord.... so many thoughts and views. Show me what you are trying to tell me. Speak to my heart and make all of this clear. I need you most.
So summer started and I began working at my Dad's clinic. Everything has seemed busy. I haven't exactly began fulfilling the intentions I have had about this summer. I mean, I know perfectly well that we are only two weeks deep in summer, but something is just digging at my heart.
Lord, just give me the words.
It is easy to become part of this world, but as God's children we are told to stand out, to shine His light. I want to do just that, but the world around us tempts and throws lies at us. This week, as I said earlier, has been busy with me starting my job at my Dad's clinic. For the last few days I have drifting away from God and my studying His word. It's only been a few days, but I don't even feel....me. Some thoughts have been whirling around in my head.... worldly things and views. I guess is the way to put it. Anyways, it was just earlier today that all of a sudden I had this feeling or moment of realization. Without Christ we are truly nothing. I have been really excited about cheer ever since I found out I made the squad. I pray that I won't put on the familiar "fake cheerleader smile",  but instead show a joy that makes people curious-makes people wonder what makes me different. And then I would be able to share with them about who gives the ultimate fulfillment and happiness that you feel deep inside your soul, because that does exist through God. I know that for a fact and it is what I hunger for every moment of every day. But we live in an evil, fallen world that doesn't want us to be happy or content. It lures us in paths that seem fun and risky, ways that we should follow so we can "have something stupid to share with our grandkids." However, it leads to regrets and ungodliness. Those people may look like they are having the time of their lives, but in reality, they are empty and looking for something that will satisfy and fill the gaps. To get to the point, I have been excited about many different things that I know will unfold in the next few months, but I have started looking it through a different perspective-slowly. And I finally got hit with the fact that I am not even excited anymore- those plans and things mean nothing if I don't have God walking right beside me. I want him to control my life and along the way he will bless me. I know if I don't have Him walking with me I will miss out on all the beauty that He enables you to see through His eyes. I won't have true happiness. I want to grow into a wise strong woman who loves with a true love, only found in her Savior. I want to leave a legacy when I leave high school and be available for God to use me in whatever ways He chooses. And he is waiting for you to do the same. He waits with open arms and I promise you He will bless you and love you like no one else. He created you and knows you better than anyone else. And most of all, He will never leave you. I hope that we all at some point find our way to God's arms and find true happiness that isn't of this world- but much better, because there is someone much greater, my Lord is much greater.
I love you, Lord. All of me wants all of you-always.

We Could Soar On Wings Like Eagles

It hurts me to watch teenagers with the attitude of " You only live once." "Come on loosen up, stop worrying, have fun for once." The students who engage themselves in parties every weekend. The people who have no self respect and who started off saying they would never harm themselves in those ways. They believe that if they take part in these activities they are living their life to its fullest and having fun, but truly- they aren't. I have sat and watched a close friend become distant, who has become someone I hardly recognize. An individual who takes pride in making poor decisions every weekend and then comes to school bragging about it. And I can honestly say one of the hardest things is to sit and watch one of your best friends harm themselves. The problem is that people around me try to explain to me "Everyone goes through a party stage." "This is the real world, stop worrying about everyone so much, live your own life." Yes, we live in a fallen, evil world, but that doesn't mean we have to follow the ways of the world. One thing I wish I could explain to every teenager on this earth is that living your life to the fullest- is something you can only accomplish while walking with Jesus Christ. Only He can give you the satisfaction of living the most miraculous and joyful plan of all. A plan to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) Teenagers worry that if they have a close relationship with God that they won't be able to have any fun. But you are completely incorrect if you believe in that statement. Following God is the best decision you could ever make. He gives you the greatest joy, love, and fulfillment. He works and speaks through you in unspeakable ways and the greatest filling is knowing that you are being apart of God working in someone else's life. If each of us would put all of our hope in God, we could be part of something so much greater. We could even soar on wings like eagles. (Isaiah 40:31)

Holding On

It’s been awhile since I have been in the blogging world. I haven’t done much writing or reading on blogs. I honestly haven’t done much talking either. I want to share with all of you some of the things I have been dealing with these past few months.

As some of you may know, I have spent my freshmen year back in public school. The previous three years I have been home schooled at my Mom’s local children’s boutique. I still haven’t caught my breath, the thought hasn’t sunk in. It’s as if that part of me or that life was simply put on pause and I just started somewhere else. And now I feel as if I need to go back and finish that part, make the correct transition into the sudden change. I look back on those three years and think how that could have been me or how is this me now.

What happened?

I remember vividly the day my mom told us that she wanted to apply for the teaching position at the high school. Being a Home EC. teacher had always been her dream. I can recall the feeling of excitement and fear, all at once, of being back in a public school. The thought felt unreal, as if it would never happen. And now I look at myself and still ask the same question, “What happened?”

The only thing on my mind, when I was told of the possibility, was how God was going to use me. How strong and firm I would be….. How much joy I would bring to my friend's life….. And most of all how brightly I would shine. But I look at myself now and my motives and see that I am not accomplishing what I intended. I am not where I once was.

The enemy knew my plan right away. And of course, he hated it. He wanted it destroyed. He went to work very quickly. I struggled all summer with bad days; with trials and battles. I stayed strong for the most part. Kept reading my bible, praying, and telling God that I wanted to shine when I arrived at school on my first day in high school. The first day came, I felt Him with me and overall strong. I must tell you that I have a virus called Epstein Bar Virus which means I am always tired, having little energy. Anyways, I began school and sat in my classes thinking “Is this really happening?” “Am I really here?”

As school progressed, I still struggled with the same battles, had the stress of school, and felt the realization of just how difficult it would be to function with my virus. I was stressed, busy, and tired. All a perfect combination for the enemy to attack.  I was weak spiritually and even though I was praying constantly, I wasn’t deep into my bible studying. I was weak.

I had basically shut down. I haven’t talked very much because my mind is always racing. I smile and try to be happy, but I just don’t feel like doing anything. I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling exhausted, all the trials, and feeling alone. I looked at myself every day and thought “This wasn’t the plan.” I am supposed to be overflowing with joy and God’s strength. We know it is God’s plan that the four of us are here so why do I feel so empty? This is a time when I am supposed to be at a high point in my spiritual walk with God, but yet I feel as if He is making me feel as low as possible.

 

“God, what are you doing?” “How am I possibly going to get through this?” “Lord, I know I am not strong enough at this point in my spiritual walk to handle all of this.” “I just can’t.”

 

I could barely breathe. There were days that I would feel God’s strength so strongly. I felt a glimpse of the answer to everything, but would get knocked back down and hit with something else. Even on my strongest days, I felt doubt that I couldn’t possibly be finished with all the trials. There had to be more, and would it ever really end. I knew I needed to dive deeper into my bible, but didn’t know where to go. Some mornings I would watch Charles Stanley trying to ease my doubts and pains. Most of my sufferings came from my thoughts. I prayed that God would make me stronger, pure, and learn the lesson to which He obviously wanted me to grasp. I have felt this whole time that it is coming, the time in which God would reveal himself to me in a way words could never describe, and I would hear his whisper “Your faith has made you well, go in peace.”

 

I still struggle. Hard. Some days it takes a lot to admit you are hurting; that you need prayers. You feel like shutting yourself out because it couldn’t possibly get better. The trials still surround me and I look to God for his strength. I won’t give up. He has a plan and a plan I want to fulfill. I ask for all of your prayers.

Never Give Up. Hold On.

 

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Psalm 46:5

It's Simply Fall

Crisp. The word not only defines autumn, but defines a texture, taste, emotion, and personality. One of my favorite phrases my family uses to describe me is Crisp and to the Point. Crisp means to be serious, to be strong, independent, secure with yourself. Maybe that is why I love the Fall season so much. Simply because of the crisp, autumn air every morning?
It hits you two steps out the door. Which is the same time you look up to examine God's beauty around you. You hear the birds chirping as you walk down the porch steps, your walking slowly of course since you have a ten pound bag on your back. You have a cup of coffee with just enough whip cream and caramel which was delicately placed just so.
Your coffee has the most blissful taste in Autumn. Your not hesitant to take a sip of your hot cup of joy because of the fright of more heat entering your body on a humid, summer day. Or too quick to take a mouthful of burning liquid which demoralizes you for the next thirty minutes simply because you could not wait to feel the hot addiction in your freezing body, hoping it would help your freezing toes come back to room temperature. But instead, a sip of your homemade caramel latte has just the right amount of bliss filled in it's delicacy as it calms the small amount of nippiness to all the things Fall is made up of.
The way a morning or afternoon walk can calm every stress deep inside. It's again something that the season is capable of doing.
No matter where you are, each glance of scenery looks like it should be photographed and posted inside a calendar.
The season brings the blissful joy of each of these and offers so much more.
It's simply Fall.

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